Today was a big day, and honestly, this week may be the most full-of-major-life-events week that I’ve experienced. I mean I’ve had major life changing weeks before–got married, had a baby, got a job, left a job, etc.–but typically the events have been spread out.
Today, I woke up, did my hair, and prettied myself up to look extra awesome for work today. Then I went to the hospital to get tested for CoViD19 as this is a requirement for all medical procedures at the moment (more on this in a minute).
Then I went to work, said hi to my close colleagues, caught up on their lives, received a compliment from my boss for being late to my meeting to be fired so that I could finish up a morning report prior to getting fired, and then I was fired.
It stung too!
That surprised me…
Before I go on, I should note that any reference in this post to “my boss” is actually referring to my boss’s boss, as my boss is out with CoViD.
After he read the scripted notice of termination, I was allowed to ask some questions. I was able to confirm that I wasn’t on the original list (this thought popped in my head yesterday and was tormenting me), and I also got to learn (in the strictest of confidentiality) who was saved. Once he told me this, he complimented me again to tell me that he admires me for what I did, and he assured me that, while my separation from the company truly is involuntary, my exit is on the best of possible terms with both him & the company.
Then I had to tell my colleagues that I’d just been involuntarily let go. I guess I hadn’t thought about their feelings of me being laid off. I should have.
Not only did it piss them off, it scared them that if this could happen to me, then they too might not be bulletproof simply by way of being in Operations (and thus essential–read blog 2). In many fewer words than I would have liked, I tried to comfort them and assure them that they don’t have a reason to be scared. In the end, i texted my boss to encourage him that a pep talk might go a long way today for the two of them.
My current partner loves coke zero and has tried time & time again to give it up without success. It’s kind of been a thing of mine to keep an extra in my fridge to give him on either a celebratory day or on a just really shitty day as a cheer up. So, as a parting gift, I gifted him two coke-zeros, one labeled: For a really good day; and the other labeled: For a really sh*tty day.
Keith makes fun of me for my common-interest-bond with my other colleague/former partner: unique tropical fruit. This guy is 6’5” and probably 250+lbs–i’m not a good judge of weight–in other words, he’s a big dude! And he loves tropical fruit as much as I do. Lychees are our favorite; followed by kiwiberries. It just so happens that lychees are in season right now, so as a parting gift for him, i gifted him with 2Lbs of lychees–and my office plant.
He got emotional when I told him–I was laying on the compliments and admiration for my time spent working with him pretty thick in this discussion, but his response, it meant a lot to me. He and I butted heads a couple years back, so I’ve worked really hard the last two years to earn his respect–not get him to like me; earn. his. respect. Especially, as a colleague who also happens to be female and damn yankee. His response showed me that I had and that he considers me an equal, and that’s a big deal.
Then I left.
As for the medical procedure, well, a month ago tomorrow, i peed on a stick, which called (is-pregnant? pee), and it returned “true”.
While this pregnancy was most definitely wanted, I wasn’t planning on it until around this time next year–after I’ve become a little stronger at coding, so it caught me off guard, and I was a little upset about the timing.
But sometimes life plays cruel tricks. On Tuesday, just as I was getting used to the idea and actually becoming happy and excited about it, I learned that while “true” was returned correctly, there’s no embryo in there.
This happens pretty frequently. Very likely, the two strands of RNA lined up incorrectly creating a bug. Due to the lack (or expense) of early pregnancy/genetic tests, this bug was unseen in the first 6 weeks, and even if there were tests to detect this bug, I don’t think we have the ability to refactor genetic material at this time (or again the expensive is prohibiting), so this bug inevitably crashed the program.
That’s probably a terrible metaphor… And I know I’m talking about this kind of lightly & casually with coding jokes, but the truth is that I’m really sad and I’m really feeling this loss. Talking about it in a lighter tone just kind of helps.
Anyway, I’m scheduled to have a d&c on Friday and was required to get tested for CoViD prior to that–the test sucked, but it was tolerable.
So yeah, it’s been a big week…